The Birthday Gift I Left at a Gate Because I Couldn’t Face My Own Shame
Rebecca made it clear: no contact until I “got my life in order.”
And at the time, I didn’t even have a life to order.
Still, I couldn’t let Harriet’s birthday pass like she didn’t exist.
I used the last money I had to buy her a small stuffed bunny.
And I wrote a note:
“I miss you so much. Happy Birthday. Love Daddy.”
I drove to the house where Rebecca was living with her new partner, Eric.
It wasn’t a normal house.
It was the kind of place that screams, someone here has their life together.
There was a big party.
Mascots. A jumping castle. The kind of celebration I could never have afforded.
Standing there, watching it from the outside, I felt something snap inside me.
Not anger.
Not jealousy.
Just shame.
I left the bunny and the note at the front gate.
And I walked away without seeing my daughter.
That was the last time.
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