You lay back down, embarrassed by how quickly those words worked on you. Imagining it. As if your own senses had become untrustworthy. As if the thing turning your stomach every night existed only because your mind had gotten too dramatic in the dark.
But your body never believed him.
Your body recoiled each time you turned toward his side of the bed. Your body knew the odor got worse beneath his pillow and along the lower corner of the mattress where his legs rested. Your body noticed that whenever he sat down first, the smell deepened, blooming outward through the blankets like invisible ink in water.
So you kept cleaning.
You washed the comforter so many times the stitching began to pull. You vacuumed the mattress. You dragged it onto the patio one Saturday and left it under the brutal Arizona sun while your neighbors glanced over the fence with polite curiosity. You scrubbed the bed frame with diluted bleach, crawled on your knees with a flashlight under the slats, checked for mold, insects, water damage, anything ordinary enough to explain what you were living with.
